In this post, I haven't really got a main 'theme' as such but the main aspect of it is keeping positive no matter what's happened or happening in your life at the moment. So, someone asked me today, "So what are your talents?" and honestly I froze and I didn't know what to say. I had played my guitar in the past, thanks to my late Dad surprising me with one when I was a little girl, I love to sing all the time and it feels so nice when people say "you're such a good singer Lucy" out of the blue, I'd baked hundreds of buns and honestly felt so proud, but then I actually thought about this little page I made and actually felt a sense of pride. It made me smile and I picked up my laptop and decided to start typing :-)
So, I'll get on with it. You may of noticed that I've been with someone for quite some time from my previous posts and a couple weeks back it all ended, and not very pleasantly either. I wont go into much detail in the specific events but when someone is disloyal in the relationship, it's not very easy to forgive them, especially after the amount of time you spent with them day in, day out. However, we were arguing a LOT, perhaps it drove him to become distracted from what was happening between us and focus on finding happiness elsewhere.
After a year and four months, it's normal that in some relationships, feelings fade and consequently fade away from what i'd call not only your partner, but your best friend. It really hits home when everything begins to sink in and I'm not going to lie, I posted a harsh status and texted people close to him about what he had done. I can blame anger and the feeling of betrayal for the way I acted and in no way am I proud of that and hopefully I can learn from my mistakes. But, what I do know is when you love someone and their life and your life are so similar because you do practically everything together, act like each other, share so many memories together and it all just ends in a matter of minutes you do feel like you've been punched in the stomach several times.
Break ups are happening all the time and it's just a part of life you need to get through. Some quicker than others, some worse than others. We are all different people and shouldn't be judged on how you apply your emotions when it comes to break ups. Of course, some of the people around you can either take away the happiness or increase it in just a few words, at the end of the day, it's down to you how you react to it which is the important thing. Plus, when you've spent such a long time with someone and they find it super easy to move on just like that, people do not know what it's like until they've experienced it themselves. However, when mixed messages come into it by the ex, the last thing you need is to be messed around. So, finding the strength to just let go or in other words 'just get over it', it will always be a challenge but the best way out!
What I am incredibly proud, thankful and happy about are my friends, new friends, family and most importantly, my mum. I'd probably be curled up in bed crying my eyes out if it wasn't for them, I know, pathetic! BUT, I'm sat on my sofa, Gogglebox on pause, laptop on my lap and just typing away, getting it all out and I haven't felt this relived for a while. The amount of people who have shown support and have actually managed to put smiles on my face through all this has been incredible and I feel so so lucky to have them in my life.
If you, reading this have felt or are feeling like what I have felt, my advise would be to surround yourself with happy, positive people, distract yourself with as many different things possible, create a playlist with your best, favourite songs and make as many plans with friends or family as you like. I know, when you're feeling like you've hit rock bottom, the last thing you want to do is be around people because you feel like you're just going to depress everyone. That's fine! Listen to that playlist and when your mood starts to pick up a little, your friends will always be there, ready and waiting to make plans.
In a way, I'm lucky this has happened to me because it just makes me feel like a stronger individual and preparing me for future relationships. Also, after some time, myself and Max have decided to remain friends as what's done is done in the past and we can both continue with our separate lives with people we both deserve whilst still being friends. Plus because this has happened, I get to share my thoughts and feelings to you and maybe even help you a little.
Lots of love, as always,
Luce xxx
